Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You are a genius and a whore.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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