I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We are all done wearing pants today
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
