This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
