wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
