TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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