Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
