Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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