part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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