I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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