saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
