Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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