true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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