Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
