Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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