I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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