break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize