you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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