If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
im on a boat
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