the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize