your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
