I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
