sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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