I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Blood and glitter go together right?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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