you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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