Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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