just come out here and I will go home with you...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
