Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
