Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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