What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
