We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
