So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
