Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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