I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
