so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Alive.
So much puke
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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