I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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