I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
