What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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