Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
