I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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