There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
