Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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