"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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