Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize