Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
