The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
