Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize