12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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