Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
