I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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