i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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