Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Are we in a gay sports bar?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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