just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
