You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
