if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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