I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize