I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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