I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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