u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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