remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
