My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
