where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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