My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
