I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
