...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Its about making memories worth repressing
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
