im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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