Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
