We're facebook friends in real life
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Someone came in the potted fern
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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