the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wannas sexs uuuuu
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
