Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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