we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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