you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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